Hypervigilance Thinks Information Will Save You

Self-trust knows where to look

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Before we dive in, I wanted to let you know that registration is now open for my new class, Self-Trust: Coming Back to Your Inner Signal. We'll be learning practical energetic tools to help you recognize your own inner signal and come back to yourself again and again. Cohorts are intentionally tiny (just four people each), and I'd love to have you there if this speaks to you. 💜

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from @sarahofmagdalene on IG

As perhaps even short time readers of this newsletter know, when our house was on the market, I became...a lot. Every text that came in from our realtor felt like the universe screaming at me, “CHECK YOUR PHONE TO SEE IF YOU DESERVE TO EXIST!!!”

A totally normal and proportional response. My inner child somehow translated, “Will the house sell?” into, “Do I belong? Am I safe? Am I even lovable if the literal foundation beneath me is uncertain?”

The answer apparently was, “Check Zillow every eleven minutes and find out, boo! Oh, that wasn’t helpful? What about tarot cards even though that’s not even the medium you use to read energy?! You got The Devil again??? Keep picking, keep picking!!!”

This part of me was convinced that if I knew if there was an offer or if there wasn’t, if we were staying or leaving, if I had an answer, if I had that information, then I could finally come back to myself and pick up self-trust where I left it before this whole *waves hands in the air* thing started.

the idea of “the smell” haunted me for weeks

Except of course, my self-trust didn’t go on pause because I didn’t know if the house would sell, or if it smelled or didn’t.

It went on pause because I was outsourcing my power to “information” one way or another.

For many of us when we were growing up, information wasn’t just interesting, it was relational survival.

It told you whether your mom was in a good mood or a mood where you need to tip toe out of the room unnoticed, whether your dad’s smile was one where you needed to disappear or defend yourself.

It was a cue that your body learned could predict what might happen next. And gathering that type of intel is a behavior that is very hard to pry your inner child away from, even though it actually disrupts your connection to self.

But unbeknownst to your inner child, information is rarely really the goal; it’s the side-route you take and get lost in, to get to a deeper feeling.

Because, dear readers, as our heroine would quickly find out, her hypervigilant fueled anxiety wasn’t about the house at all. Gasp!

When you can’t stop thinking about why your situationship hasn’t texted you back, or when you can’t stop focusing on if you’re going to get fired even though nothing has changed, or if your cat will be okay at the vet for a regular check-up, or even when you are obsessing about undeniably upsetting things (the state of the world, a friend who is going through a really hard time), it’s not really about any of those things.

this is a very niche meme for my fellow Vanderpumpers

It’s about the need underneath: safety, security, feeling worthy, loveable, or whatever need it is you think you’re going to get from that thing that thing can never really give you.

Self-trust interrupts that cycle.

My inner child was saying, “I’ll belong, I’ll be safe, once I know the outcome. Once I have enough information.” But self-trust says, “I’m going to stop asking information to do a job only my true Self can do.”

So many of us postpone our relationship with ourselves until we have enough information.

Self-trust isn’t simply trusting your intuition. It’s not pretending you don’t care and you’re “fine! I swear!”.

It’s trusting yourself enough to stop organizing your attention around information giving you proof, and instead orienting yourself to your inner adult who can meet the need that this is really about.

Hypervigilance (which is what the constant information seeking is) lives in the past and the future.

Self-trust lives in the present. That is where you can tune into the sensations in your body. Where you can stop long enough to feel what your inner child really needs. Where you can tell what information is necessary or not to pursue.

Where you get your whole self back online.

If I’m no longer trying to prove that I am safe, or lovable or that I belong, what becomes possible?

OMG your actual life force, your desires, your sense of whimsy and fun more consistently! And yes, the challenging feelings too, but with a sense of structure and connection to support it.

When you have this you can:

• Finally hear your own desires underneath survival mode.

• Trust your body enough to let it become your ally again.

• You can offer your work before your inner critic decides you've earned permission.

• Make decisions because they feel aligned, not because you've exhausted yourself trying to guarantee they'll work out.

• Tend to your community because you genuinely delight in them.

When you are in self-trust you know how to(do what Susan Sontag said) change your life, so you can live it.

We are taught that self-trust means believing yourself all the time or never doubting yourself. But what I’m describing here (and teaching), is becoming more and more rooted in your knowing so that when you do get a little lost in the sauce (as I did) you know how to come back and meet your actual needs.

You know how to get to the place where information loses the glow of having magical powers. It goes back to being just…information.

This is what I want for you. I want you to know your own energy so well that you know what deserves your attention and what doesn't. I keep watching brilliant, intuitive people mistrust themselves because they were taught information is safer than relationship with themselves.

Let’s stop that right now and start building you deeper into yourself!

Sound like something you have been wanting? I’d love to have you join me for Self-Trust: Coming Back to Your Inner Signal.

ICYMI at the top of this newsletter, it’s a four-week, small-group (four people in each cohort) class where we’ll learn practical, energetic tools you can come back to again and again to recognize your own inner signal and trust yourself more deeply.

I always emphasize fun so we’ll laugh, we’ll practice, we’ll experiment, and you’ll leave with tools that continue working long after the class ends.

The groups are intentionally small so everyone gets plenty of attention, which also means spots are limited. If your inner signal is already nudging you, you can find all the details and sign up here.

Paid substack subcribers get 10% off! Plus you'll get access to the Sovereignty Lab: a library full of workshops, live calls (and replays), meditations, pdf’s to help with everything I’ve talked about here and more as well as the Friday Energy Report and our playful, supportive WhatsApp community where we talk about the energy of the moment, share insights and questions and I for one am currently obsessed with! I’d love to have you there.

With love and trust,

Natasha

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About Me:

Coming Home is a newsletter for people who are healing, remembering, and occasionally sharing cat memes about boundaries. I’m Natasha Levinger—inner child intuitive, energy healer, and author of Healing Your Inner Child: Reparenting Yourself for a More Secure and Loving Life.

Here are other ways I can help:

• Schedule a 1:1 here to get support with anything you are working through or wanting to bring more of forward.

• Find out about the House Cleaning Past Life reading

• Read my book, “Healing Your Inner Child: Reparenting Yourself for a More Secure and Loving Life”

• Get insight/support/tools with one question with Ask Natasha

• Learn about Awakening, my 1:1 therapeutic mentorship