I was hit with unexpected depression. Here's 5 ways I'm getting through it

Hi friends

I feel vulnerable sharing this which surprises me since I’m pretty open here and on my podcast about pretty much everything I go through. I actually love sharing because I know it helps other people. But I think my reluctance about depression speaks to its stigma in our society, which is wild to me that even I’m feeling it!

As many of you know I have been on my healing journey for a long time now- for most of my life. As a Pisces rising (conjunct my north node IYKYK) I do think it’s my life calling to help others on their healing path and I feel like everything in my human design chart basically yells at me: “EXCAVATE YOUR PAST TO HELP OTHERSSS!” (they even use all caps, so unusual).

So even though my inner critic has had so much healing (shout out to my 11-year-old inner child, former critic, who traded in her acerbic wit for writing Days of Our Lives fanfic while petting her cat Archie)-

actual footage of me

I do sometimes have a less potent version of her (this one is actually 5) who says to me: “You shouldn’t experience any emotional pain, dread, or unexplained sadness because you are a PROFESSIONAL HELPER!” (All caps, which in this case, is usual).

If I don’t bring in some boundaries around that talk soon enough, it/she can snowball into using the f-word (failure-I don’t require snowballing to swear).

As I mentioned in the title of these here newsie, I have been experiencing big waves of feelings (anxiety, sadness) that I’m not used to. As an Aquarius I usually save my “feelings” for other people/animals. /j (P.S. did you know that “/j” is gen z’s way of saying jk?? I just learned that. Consider this to be a multidimensional/generational learning newsletter.) I really am joking that I don’t feel things unless it’s for other people, but it’s been deeper for me lately. I’ve been experiencing generalized anxiety and also some actual depression.

I have my theories as to why I’m feeling these things—hormones is the big one, the collective grief, our dog passing suddenly didn’t help, I’m challenging my fear of being seen which is triggering for various inner child parts-but just like I tell my clients/friends/anyone in ear reach:

If you don’t let your feelings flow through you, drop into sensations in your body, your brain will come up with meanings for why you are feeling what you are feeling. And I hate to spoil the ending but: that meaning is never the whole picture, usually giving you a worst case scenario and designed to keep you from feeling.

Please see Ex. A for some examples.

EXHIBIT A (as promised)

anxiety + brain = everyone hates you
sadness + brain = why bother
anger + brain = burn this bad boy to the ground

The “brain” in this case is usually an inner child part. When this happens it’s not actually necessary to validate their line of thinking/questioning and hear them out, because you will end up in a loop of them just trying to prove why you are fucked. (Fucked: the other “f” word.) By that point you are in a spiral that is much harder to get out of.

What you need are boundaries. So how do you do that??

First let me just say that if you are having clinical depression or hormonal depression/anxiety I’m not here to say you can set boundaries your way through it. Sometimes our brains need help from medicine! However…

from my favorite episode of Friends

Okay. no “however”. That said? And? Okay, I’m just going to say it: even in my very likely hormonally-induced depressionxiety I still found the techniques below helpful and it’s enormously helpful when not also having a physiological element to it. So let’s get to it:

1. Find the sensation in your body

   I’ve said it before, but this one technique is the fastest way I have found (and my clients report the same finding) to get back to a wider perspective and feel more connected to your true self. And that is: find any sensation in your body, turn it into a shape, and watch what happens next. It will move, shift, dissipate. Once that happens, find another sensation. You will likely either feel relief, freer and/or feelings will come up. Feel those. If you keep going back into your head go back to the sensations. You can do this all day long! It’s fun! It’s healing! It’s shapes! (Tag line for my new sitcom.)

2. Ask yourself “where are you orienting”?

   This very simple question of orientation is such a quick way to get out of a looping mindset. When we’re in heightened emotions we are often oriented towards worst case scenarios. If you can notice that, you can set a boundary by redirection. If that’s too hard, if that part is too hyper-vigilant, you can say something like, “I know you are really worried about this, but I’m going to spend 30 minutes only focused on ‘what if it worked out?’, noticing what is working. If you still need to talk about it after that, I’ll come back and validate that need.”
   
   If that’s still hard, ask yourself, “What would my higher self say about this situation?” I’ve been doing hypnosis sessions for people and when we bring in the higher self that version of us is SO quick to give a matter-of-fact broader perspective answer. Imagine a higher self version of you standing in front of you, and ask them, “What do you think about this situation?”

3. Self compassion

   Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve said it a million times, but I was talking to a dear client yesterday and I realized another huge benefit of self-compassion: it gives nuance to what feels like a black and white situation. This previously mentioned client who has been doing amazing healing with her inner child and has more self-connection, more self-esteem, self-worth, all the selfs. And as if by magic, she is now able to view her situation as not some dire, end of the world scenario, but as nuanced with positives and negatives. Possibilities have seemingly come out of the woodwork to reveal themselves. Those possibilities were of course there the whole time, they are just harder to see when you are not giving yourself grace. It’s not magic, it’s self-compassion. (Tag line for my memoir?)
   Some quick ways to get there: Put your hand on your heart and say, “I see you, I’m here, I may not know the answer now, but I promise we’ll figure it out.” Picture yourself as a child or picture ANY child and see how you treat yourself in comparison. Affirm that it’s hard to be a human and you are doing the best you can!

4. Find something you like to do and then (wait for it) do it

   Brett and I have been bike riding through our neighborhood and night and it’s been so nice. It literally has changed my perspective when I’ve been inside most of the day. I haven’t done it since I was a kid so my inner child loves it. My oldest and I are planning on making junk journals this week which I can’t wait to do. The point is, when you are stuck in a certain perspective, it can be so helpful to bring in the energy of play and fun. Honestly, watching Tik Tok videos can also change my perspective in an instant. Like this one:

   

   @laurenmoldyI think we might have to keep him

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5. Just add light

   You know this energy worker couldn’t end this without some energy work! I have found connecting to the imagery of light in my cells is an instant upgrade to my mood and perspective. If you’re less new to this work I also found imagining my eighth chakra (the one above your head) full of light is also a fast way to do this. This activates the information in your energetic body that is already there (your wisdom, higher knowing) and allows you to access it.

   Alright y’all that’s it! This is what’s helping me and I hope it helps you too.

On another note, liking and sharing this post apparently helps people find me so let’s get this party started, right. Okay, this party has already started, but I appreciate so much the support of spreading the word. You can also become a paid subscriber for extra bennies like meditations, workshops and more! One very potent meditation coming soon I promise. I know I have said it was coming sooner than it has, but see above + this being a very busy time, for why that has not been the case. But it is slowing down and I’m feeling better so it will be here soon! I love you all and appreciate your support so much!

With love,

Natasha

Here are some other ways I can support you:

You can get my book, “Healing Your Inner Child, Reparenting Yourself for a More Secure and Loving Life,” here (or anywhere you get your books!)find me on TikTok, Get insight/support/tools on a question with Ask Natasha, find out about my mentorship, listen to Getting to Know Woo and schedule a 1:1 here.